Finding My Voice

Its been a while since I posted anything - and indeed its take a while to get my head around the larger world of quilting and fiber arts.  I have certainly bee overwhelmed by the complexity of it all and how much there is to see and experience.  I think the major challenge was asking myself where my own voice was int he midst of it all.  And while I certainly haven't found all of that, I have found some small corner of it that I enjoy and can relate to. I have made a beginning at finding some few skills and a comfort zone.  I find that I am heavily influenced by all the embroidery I have done.  Karen talks about a quilt being something you can wrap yourself in - or wrap a child in for comfort.  And I get that; I really do.  I see the ladies int eh quilt guild turning out blanket sized quilts so casually and I really admire that.  But when I sit down to think about what I really want to do myself my brain automatically defaults to what I can hold in my hand and manage with a needle.

  It was only a matter of time before I found applique and wonderfully intricate small things.  My first discovery was Shelley Swanland and her technique called Cathedral Windows.  Its base on an old technique form the 30's but way more updated and versatile - a way of layering and folding fabric that gives color layers and tactile possibilities that are really exciting.  So after a test piece or two I found her little flower "twilt" (that I donated to the AAQI) and a framework she did for a large centerpiece that was just too intriguing not to try.  So it started out as something to do for that frame.  A piece for my daughter to celebrate her new apartment.  A hamsa hand for good luck and prosperity.  Well... simple is how it always starts, isn't it.  I found colors that felt like her and the it just had to have more - like shisha mirrors and embroidery - and then tassels - and after that bells on the bottom.  And finally I got around to that frame.  Fro something only 14 inches wide it certainly has a lot to say for itself.

Well - are we there yet? No, not quite.  After a grand and glorious project like this the only logical question is "What next?"  And with such an open question of course the Universe by way of the Interwebz will, of course, be quick to oblige.  I saw an odd posting of a detail from a quilt that someone had taken at a quilt show.  So sad she didn't have the name of the artist but it gave me a good idea.  And with a few adjustments (of course) it became a dragonfly that I used as a front panel for a carryall for my cousin.  She's going to be traveling here and there - doing readings, giving lectures, being out on weekends - she needed something special to carry her things in - something really uniquely her - and she loves dragonflies.  Then not to leave anything out I gave it flowers from that first flower pattern.  And of course the mirrors in the flower centers - and of course all kinds of embroidery.  This caused Phillip to describe it as"yet another Cistine Chapel project" and yes - he's right.  I mounted it it as the front flap on a bag with lots of pockets inside and out.  made out of sturdy faux suede upholstery fabric so it will go the extra mile and not fray or break. 

But once its done - and shipped - and she has it - and she was so pleased with it that she got all teary eyed - I am once again faced with the question "What next?"  Since I've given my first 3 away, maybe its time to make one for me.  and lately I've been looking at lots of pictures of peacocks...   well....

Each time I do one of these smaller projects I learn things and get more certain of what I'm doing.  I feel less at sea and more in control.  Those larger projects are getting designed and drawn up.  I have them tucked in my sketch book and I'm saving back fabric for them as I find it.  They will come in time.  But for right now I'm being all happy with my little tempests in teapots.  And we shall see what kind of tempest that peacok will provide

Getting Past the Dazzle

If there's one thing I have found out for certain recently its that its so easy to get sucked in by the dazzle of it all.  After all, the  ~WOW~ factor is huge.  Also is the idea that it is very much possible to recreate this oneself.  You don't have to have an art school degree to have this kind of beauty in your life, just time and patience and some skill with a needle.  If you aren't up to generating your own patterns, there are certainly plenty of patterns out there that you can fill in with your own colors and sense of style.  The allure is enormous.  And I have certainly been out there on the internet, trawling for pictures and ideas, collecting images of inspirations like a high school girl collects pictures of movie stars.  Now I'm at the point of working to get the skills to match up to my aspirations.  Taking quilting classes at the quilt shop helps a lot - getting the skills.  Joining a quilt guild helps too - lots of nice folks there to encourage a newbie.  I managed to make that blue and green block myself - unsupervised.  Now I need to actually dig into the tiny stash I brought home from Houston and start on a real quilt.  Although I've been an artist all my life, and have designed embroidery patterns and jewelry for years, I am really excited about doing this.  I have fabric, a sort of a pattern, a good sewing machine, and friends who will help if I get in too deep - who could ask for more.  The center panel is Laurel Burch's Celestial Dreams.  What could be more apt than a lady with a cat dancing in a sea of celestial rainbows and flowers.

Butterflies

I’ve been working on the Butterfly series for a while now and liking the design more and more. I never thought of myself as a butterfly sort of person – all that fussy lightness just doesn’t’ feel like me actually. But there is something about this design that just resonates (well it should because it is, after all, my design – butterflies seen through my own particular lens). I’m not doing it because I thought commercially butterflies would be a good idea (which they are and it will be). This started as a design with an antique border pattern of flowers that I found in a very very old pattern book, and, by the time I was done, it was flowers and butterflies and antique monograms. The more I developed it, the more I enjoyed it. I am calling the pattern “Butterfly Memento” – because what I see is that its a moment in time – a summer day – poised and perfect with flowers and that butterfly – the butterfly itself is a moment – poised so briefly transforming from one state to another. A day, no matter how perfect, is always changing – like the flowers and the butterfly – you can’t press them or hold them – but you can remember them at that one perfect moment. So the colors are clear and bright, the frame and background are antique – the lettering and monogram are quaint. Even the blue flowers are Forget-Me-Nots.

As I look at this and do the work, I’m beginning to see that I’m redefining myself. Actually this whole process of the designs and the kits and all has been a process of redefining myself that I really didn’t notice until recently. I remember clearly the sense of rightness and joy I had when I decided to embark on this. With each series of designs I have found parts of my artistic self that have been just waiting to be explored that somehow I never found a way to reach before. I am comfortable with this in empowering ways. I have always found my way through a time of change by creating something – a major cycle that totally absorbs me and transforms the way I see myself and the way others see me. As I look back I realize that its embroidery that has always led me to the most positive parts of my artist self. Jewelry was the way I made a living – hard work – connected with lots of stress. I will not deny that jewelry has been how I kept us all alive and how it led to most of my public life. I have done well at it and I’m pleased with that. But embroidery is my special treasure – my private personal ting that has led me to recreate myself almost literally. It has always been my gateway in the SCA – how I manifested first Koshka and not Safiya – the vehicle/bridge that opened into the artistic communities. Interestingly enough embroidery, is the only art or endeavor that my grandmother unreservedly praised me for. Everything else was “yes, but” – embroidery was just fascinated praise. So I’m following that – living from the heart and letting that transform me.

I will admit to the base level of core programming that is our beginning definition. If it is my grandmother’s voice that shapes my personal definition, then I will let it be this. I will choose the healthy positive framework for this new growth – I will listen to the positive voice but from the past and from my own heart. Its right and fitting that embroidery can open me up to the wider world and expand my spirit. So, yes, the Butterfly Memento – its a good image for this Now.